If I only knew then what I know now….

I’m going to be 50 years old soon.  Soon is a relative term at this age ~ the fact that my 50th birthday is 9 months away is irrelevant.  When you’re 49, you’re going to be 50 soon.

The question is…Holding onto WHAT?

I’ve seen a lot of ‘letters to my younger self’ lately and I thought what better time to write one than now, when I’m about to be older than dirt,  the new 30,  half a century in the prime of my life.

So here’s my letter to my 18-year-old self ~ a skinny, naive, freckled country bumpkin about to embark on wild and crazy adventures ~ oh how little I knew…..

Dear Sasha to be,

Well, you’re almost really old now, so there are several things I thought you should know that might help along the way. Since I really, really, REALLY like lists now (if I could remember 30 years back, I would know if you liked lists back then, too), I’ll put my amazing knowledge in list form.  It’s also much easier to read…something else you’ll figure out later.

Remember ~ when I say “Been there, Done that” I’m not kidding.  I’ve really Been There and Done That ~ AND I am YOU, so just pay attention and don’t question every.single.thing like most 18 year olds.  (Do I appear a little bitchy?  Well, you might want to get used to that, too….and while you’re at it develop a little sarcasm and attitude.)

  • Wear the HELL out of those short shorts, crop tops and cute dresses. TRUST ME….you won’t always be skinny.
  • When you’re living in Florida and your fiance’ (yeah….you’ll get married…more than once!) is living somewhere else ~ have MORE fun than you think you should.  He is.
  • Don’t drink the gin and tonic.  Ok, don’t drink FIVE gin and tonics in the same night.
  • Don’t waste your money on trendy, expensive maternity clothes…you won’t be wearing them long enough to remember and they’re a bitch to sell in 1985 (oops….forgot to mention you have a baby in 1985).
  • That Camaro you always wanted?  Buy it for yourself.
  • When you decide to give that 1st marriage One More Chance, make him wait just a little bit longer…..it still won’t last, but you’ll feel better.
  • DEFINITELY buy the gold dress in 1989 that you wear to the clubs.  It’s worth every penny and you will look AMAZING!
  • Banana Clips really don’t look that good on ANYONE, you included.  Maybe especially on you.
  • That guy you hooked up with (remember ‘been there, done that’?) in between husbands?  You could just skip him altogether and you will be just fine.
  • Don’t start the Unicorn collection…….just sayin’
  • Get a bigger tattoo.  You’ll thank me later.

And finally, for the love of Tequila, try a margarita NOW because it is the nectar of the gods and you will absolutely LOVE them!

Cheers to the next 30 or so years til you get to 2012 ~ enjoy the ride!



  1. AWESOME!!! 80’s chick here… You may want to add it’s Ok to tip the bartender $10-20 on your first drink (if you’re out with the girls) you’ll drink free all night… but you should be drinking for free all night anyway, wink, wink…. If you don’t know the free drink game… LEARN IT 🙂 Hope you don’t mind the add… just goin with the memories!! Thanks for that 🙂


  2. Thanks for the flashback memories…especially those banana clips! This was pretty good and very funny…Keep up the great post…love reading them!


  3. I am probably not old enough to write a letter to my younger self, but you have me inspired! You hit the best and most important parts of your younger life, and its awesome!


  4. love this list. i try not to think of these things as regrets because i don’t want to live regretting anything I have or haven’t done, but certainly there are things that given some insight i would do differently. I would tell myself to speak up more. I was too quiet and missed out on many opportunities because i lacked the confidence.


  5. You go! Great list–I would add to mine: And remember that unreal sexy dress you bought for that wedding that your hubs asked you to return because he didnt want every one to be looking at your cleavage all nite and its a size 6–buy it bitch because you WILL regret it if you dont when you are 50 and twice that size….


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