I’m going to be 50 years old soon. Soon is a relative term at this age ~ the fact that my 50th birthday is 9 months away is irrelevant. When you’re 49, you’re going to be 50 soon.
I’ve seen a lot of ‘letters to my younger self’ lately and I thought what better time to write one than now, when I’m about to be
older than dirt, the new 30, half a century in the prime of my life.
So here’s my letter to my 18-year-old self ~ a skinny, naive, freckled country bumpkin about to embark on wild and crazy adventures ~ oh how little I knew…..
Dear Sasha to be,
Well, you’re almost really old now, so there are several things I thought you should know that might help along the way. Since I really, really, REALLY like lists now (if I could remember 30 years back, I would know if you liked lists back then, too), I’ll put my amazing knowledge in list form. It’s also much easier to read…something else you’ll figure out later.
Remember ~ when I say “Been there, Done that” I’m not kidding. I’ve really Been There and Done That ~ AND I am YOU, so just pay attention and don’t question every.single.thing like most 18 year olds. (Do I appear a little bitchy? Well, you might want to get used to that, too….and while you’re at it develop a little sarcasm and attitude.)
- Wear the HELL out of those short shorts, crop tops and cute dresses. TRUST ME….you won’t always be skinny.
- When you’re living in Florida and your fiance’ (yeah….you’ll get married…more than once!) is living somewhere else ~ have MORE fun than you think you should. He is.
- Don’t drink the gin and tonic. Ok, don’t drink FIVE gin and tonics in the same night.
- Don’t waste your money on trendy, expensive maternity clothes…you won’t be wearing them long enough to remember and they’re a bitch to sell in 1985 (oops….forgot to mention you have a baby in 1985).
- That Camaro you always wanted? Buy it for yourself.
- When you decide to give that 1st marriage One More Chance, make him wait just a little bit longer…..it still won’t last, but you’ll feel better.
- DEFINITELY buy the gold dress in 1989 that you wear to the clubs. It’s worth every penny and you will look AMAZING!
- Banana Clips really don’t look that good on ANYONE, you included. Maybe especially on you.
- That guy you hooked up with (remember ‘been there, done that’?) in between husbands? You could just skip him altogether and you will be just fine.
- Don’t start the Unicorn collection…….just sayin’
- Get a bigger tattoo. You’ll thank me later.
And finally, for the love of Tequila, try a margarita NOW because it is the nectar of the gods and you will absolutely LOVE them!
Cheers to the next 30 or so years til you get to 2012 ~ enjoy the ride!