When I started this blog, I wanted to have followers, legions of happy people dreaming at my feet, waiting with wide-eyed hopefulness for my next witty words to appear.

Ok, that is so totally a pile of BS, but it sounded good in my head.  I don’t want anyone to be dreaming at my feet ~ I might have to re-do my pedicure (performed by the 5 year old Tater…it’s not always what you imagine when you think “Pedicure”  Think ‘Globs of multi-colored polish all over my toes and occasionally on my toenails”).

ANYWAY, I encouraged, suggested, bullied everyone I know into signing up to Follow My Blog so I could have those followers.  Of course, that meant my family and friends. I’m not all ‘warm and fuzzy‘ so the number was limited.  To about 8.  Even my Dad signed up to Follow My Blog (WINCE!) but promises not to tell my mama I cuss.

But there was a hold-out ~ alas, one friend that just hadn’t Followed My Blog, even though we’d talked about it several times and with promises of ‘Yep, gonna do that today’, I was sure I would see her name prominently displayed among the devout.  (It’s easy to glance over 14 names…)

So, today I sent her the following email and I thought I’d share.  I don’t have to ask her permission since I WROTE it, so don’t go all ‘internet privacy’ on me.  That crap just won’t fly:

Hi!  I know it’s the last day of the month/day before you leave for a week off/hotter than hell, but I am puzzled.  And you know puzzled isn’t good for me cause I’m gonna track it like a hound dog til I figure it out.  It’s a curse/habit/personality disorder of mine.

So, I have this blog, the LM&H one, and we’ve talked about it lots, and I know you love it, too 🙂  (Shameless self-promotion!).

Anyway, I track those 14 people that are following it like I track the tequila sign at the liquor store, but I don’t see you as a subscriber.  So, this is the puzzling part to me and ever so slightly sticky:

• Did you subscribe and have some superpower ability to hide your email from the ‘follower’ list?  Cause if so, that would be pretty cool. I don’t know how to sell your email to spammers, porn lists or the scooters for old people website, but if someone did and you could hide your email that would make you genius!!!

• Did you subscribe and then didn’t click the link in the email that was sent saying “Please click the link below to subscribe to the ever popular, ever growing and hilarious blog known as Lipstick, Margaritas and Hairspray”  (Ok, maybe it doesn’t say that exactly, but you know what I mean.)

• Did you totally blow me off thinking “If I say I followed it maybe she’ll quit worrying the crap outta me and let me live my life”?  That I totally understand 🙂  I can be a bit…ahem….overpowering at times but my therapist is helping me through that.

So, you see my puzzlement, my dilemma, my struggle with all that is right with the world !  (Oh, wait, wrong speech.)

Hope this made you laugh this morning, in between inventory, the heat and anything else that might make you a little bit crazy today!

Happy Friday!

After this ‘friendly little reminder’, she’s happy follower number 15!  Yay!! Those followers are flocking now!

Never fear, my friends!!  I won’t send you the same email!  You’ve already signed up to Follow my every word, right?

Right?

Sorry, I couldn’t hear you….must be that damn hound dog I hear barking outside…..

(PS – Any subliminal messages you think you saw hidden in this post suggesting you Follow My Blog are totally in your head. I would Never do that!)