I’m always amazed at the stupid questions people ask. Although since they are so many stupid people around, I shouldn’t be surprised. And it seems that I know so many Stupid People, I should be used to it.
But, I’m still amazed when I’m asked some things. So I thought it might be helpful to compile answers to the stupid questions so you’d be prepared. Sometimes, we’re just so damned shocked by the questions, we don’t have a good answer (until we walk away…then I have GREAT answers!). I’m thinking if we’re prepared with a good answer then we can get much more done because we don’t have to pause and wonder how these people managed to get out of the house by themselves.
Q: Are you going to wear THAT? (Asked as you are walking out the door.)
A: No. I’m going to change clothes in the car. These are just my ‘going to the car clothes’.
Q: What are you doing? (Asked while you’re doing something SO obvious, only a very stupid person couldn’t figure it out.)
A: I’m using the bathroom. I think ‘Using the bathroom’ is an acceptable answer when the question is that stupid.
Q: Are you at home? (Asked when calling your land line…at home.)
A: No. This is a recording. Leave a message at the beep. Then you get to make the Beeping sound and hang up. PERFECT!
Q: Are you ready? (Asked when you are in the shower/in your bra and panties/hair is wet…you get the idea.)
A: Yes. No other words are necessary.
Q: Are you going to buy that? (Asked while you’re in the check out line.)
A: No. No other words are necessary.
Q: Did you save room for dessert?
A: I only ate dinner so I could eat dessert…of course I want Dessert!
Q: Are you watching this? (Asked while you’re sitting in front of the TV…watching.)
A: No, I’m sleeping with my eyes open. Please don’t change the channels or I’ll wake up and be really pissed.
….Since these are a few of the most recent questions I’ve been asked, I thought you, too, might benefit! Please share your most recent stupid questions ~ maybe we can get a little red book and put them all together so we can just flip to the best answer for the Next Time..you you KNOW there will be a next time!
Lipstick, Margaritas and Hairspray 
do u know where my pe kit is…well my darling..ive washed it ironed it and sent it to your room,,,,what you have done to it after is your problem…which goes with where are my keys…..
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Oh, don’t you know it..it’s lost forever. Where’s my socks? Where’s my shoes? Where’s my …. whatever they need! Ha – We don’t wear it for them, we didn’t have it on, maybe they could find it themselves!!
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what is that smell?
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Yes! Like you have the nose radar going on. Maybe THEY could figure it out?
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When you are lying on the couch or, better yet, in your bed, with your eyes closed, and someone asks in a very quiet voice, “Are you sleeping?” Or at a restaurant, when your plate is still half full, a forkful of food is on its way to your mouth, and the waiter reaches towards your plate and says, “Are you done with that?”
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Oh perfect…totally forgot about the sleeping one! AND YES, why WOULDN’T they think I’m sleeping since I’m in bed…lying down…with my eyes closed!! And OMG!! The waiter! Please just let me finish! When I’m finished, you’ll know!
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