It’s Official…I’ve lost my Mojo.

Man, Hollywood is a tough crowd. Not that I’d personally know cause I’m about as far away from Hollywood as you can get, but shit, they’re crazy!

I just saw an article titled, “Stars who lost their Mojo”. No Shit. That’s the title.

Here’s the thing: They are comparing stars from 30-40 years ago with how they look now and saying they don’t have Mojo like they did when they were ‘in their prime’.

Cher “Then”….in the 60’s and 70’s
And Cher Now….a mere 40 years later! Wow, she looks like she might be 65! WAIT! She IS 65.

OMfreakin’G ~ no kidding. THEY’RE OLDER ~ get it? People Age. I guess in Hollywood, that doesn’t happen, but here?  In the Real World, people age, they grow up, they live, they have a life. Not all of us have the advantage of ‘eternal youth’ at the end of our fingertips and checkbooks. Nope, I gotta slather cream all over my face every night just to keep the crevices in check, but I’m sure I still don’t have the ‘Mojo’ I had 30 years ago. Matter of fact, I’m POSITIVE I don’t have the same Mojo I had 30 minutes ago.

I know people age because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing these last 40 or so years.   And to prove that I’ve aged, maybe not quite as gracefully as I’d like, my body likes to sabotage and remind me on a daily basis with little things like….

  • The flying squirrels that have attached themselves to my upper arms, ready to take flight any time I move my arm in the slightest, spreading their little bat-like wings and jiggling all over the place.
  • New Hair Growth….on my chin.  At what point did that become so normal that I carry tweezers in my car so I can tweeze in perfect sunlight to chin ratio at stoplights, flipping down the visor for a no-hands-needed mirror?  Scary.
  • My feet moving farther away from my arms.  I used to be able to just bend over and reach my toes for that snazzy purple polish, but now I can barely reach them when they’re propped up on a stool and I’m  hunched over my knees, belly fat and boobs smushed together like peanut butter and jelly.  Who needs toe nail polish anyway?
  • Wrinkled skin.  I looked in the visor mirror yesterday (ok, I might have been tweezing my chin and glanced down at my neck) and almost screamed because some old person was in the back seat.  Then I realized it was my neck I was looking at and screamed for real.

I guess I’ve lost my Mojo.  Actually, I’m not really sure I had it in the first place.  I’d better stay out of Hollywood, cause they’d say I was really old…maybe even 65 or so. But heeeeyyyyy, if I told them I was 65, they’d be thinking… “Wow, she looks GREAT for her age!”.

Oh yeah, I’m so gonna tell people I’m 65 tomorrow.

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12 comments

  1. Love your blog!! I feel for ya.. How many tweezers have I bought because the pair I just got isn’t filed right, doesn’t grab a dang hair… I think my theory is to just drink enough so I can’t see the hairs anymore… Just a thought… 🙂

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  2. New follower and love the blog posting and boy isn’t this the truth. I am only forty something and the mojo leaves me daily notes, often right in the mirror. 😦
    Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. oh gawd one day i was at work talking to a 20something and he reached out and pulled a WHISKER outa my chin– like he’d been doing such all his life

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  4. Okay, so the Mojo blog made me laugh out loud! (I don’t use the LOL lingo, come on, can’t people spell anymore?) Especially loved the tweezer thing. I have a similar story I’ll share with you privately!

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  5. its the stars that have babys then u seen them a few weeks later looking super skinny…wearing body conscious clothes..being called yummy mummys..that annoy me…who then tell us in dvds how we too can have their bodies…wellyippydoo..as if we have 2 hours spare a day to work out and eat all this fancy expensive food…all i wanted after having mine…i have 6..was sleep…. for them to sleep….and for my cupboards to get bigger so i could shove more stuff in them so the house could look tidy…his lordship learnt not to open cupboards,,without my say so…

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