I want to Thank Reader’s Digest for filling my inbox with

THE WORST FOODS YOU CAN EAT!!

Of course I had to check it out, cause I needed to see what those foods are. I was positive I had none of those foods in MY Buggy (in the South, a grocery cart is a buggy…in case ya’ll thought I had a horse or something).

Imagine my surprise when I discovered what those 7 foods are!  Let me list them for you (because I don’t want you to miss any of them and because I like lists):

1 – Processed meat (they had a picture of a hotdog)

2 – Frozen Meals

3 – Doughnuts

4 – Potato Chips

5 – Low Fat Foods (my favorite)

6 – Margarine

7 – Soda (technically not a ‘food’, but we’ll let them keep it)

Oh NO!  Did I have any of those foods IN MY HOUSE???

Since I’m not at the grocery store and there’s really no buggy around, I just had to remember what was in my pantry.  Since I’m in my pantry hundreds tons lots of time every day, I was pretty sure I could mentally picture it without having to actually get up off the couch and wander into the kitchen.  Wouldn’t want to promote any unscheduled exercise.

Here’s my Pantry Vision:

Processed Meats:  Last night I texted Mac that we needed the following items from the grocery store on his way home ~ hotdogs, hotdog buns, brownies and milk.  The Tater added apples, bananas and oranges.  Upstaged once again by a 5-year-old.  It would appear that she’s a better eater than I am but don’t be fooled.  She’ll eat her weight in brownies and a hotdog is her best friend.

Frozen Meals:  While we don’t have TV dinners (Damn – we used to eat those all the time growing up and I actually LIKED them then.  Did they change?  Did my palette become refined?  Did I become a snob?) in our freezer, there are lots of Chicken Nuggets, Chicken Tenders and Chicken Wings hiding in the deep freeze.  Chickens BEWARE!  Do not come near this house!  (Wait – they can wander over any time they want…it’s not like I’M gonna make them into tenders!)

Doughnuts:  ’nuff said

Potato Chips:  For Real?  Who doesn’t Love Potato Chips? They are started to seriously piss me off!  Ruffles and Birthday Cake eaten together are like manna from heaven.  I always bring my own Ruffles to birthday parties just in case the party giver didn’t get the memo.

Low Fat Foods:  Ok, now who is a little bit crazy?  Low Fat Foods?  Hellllo000 – that’s supposed to be good for you!!!

Margarine:  Buttah is Better!

Soda:  Did I mention that Diet Pepsi is one of the 4 major food groups?

Now that I’ve debunked that myth about those 7 foods being terrible for you, I think I’ll fix a snack. I just had a hotdog for lunch along with some French Fries and Diet Pepsi, so I think I’ll have a doughnut and some Ruffles.  Shame I don’t have any low-fat foods around…..