Keyhole, My Ass!

I’m a big girl.  Ok, I might be a fat chick, but I got standards.  For example, I won’t wear polyester or pants with floral prints all over my ass.  Really?  Do I need to add more visual interest to an already large area?  No!

I hate to go shopping for clothes, because of the aforementioned polyester and floral prints because that’s all the designers think I should wear in the south!  Maybe in New York or LA or one of those other fancy places, I could find big girl sizes in neat stuff,  but my WalMart just doesn’t carry such things.

But God Bless the Internet!  I have catalogs from several companies that cater to my curves, love my curves and even support big, beautiful women.

Ha!  If that was the case you’d think they could find one fat model to take on that photo shoot wouldn’t you.

HEY~Loving My Curves company!!  A size 8 model isn’t PLUS SIZE!

For real….this is a Plus Size Model???

I need a new bathing suit.  This is torture.  But I have my catalogs and am checking out all the styles with the prices of a car payment and trying to see how they fit.

And then I notice something as I look a little closer…..all these models have KEYHOLES!  Yep, you can see air right thru their legs!

Look at those skinny legs on this PLUS SIZE model!!

I gotta tell ya ~ I ain’t seen my crotch in 20 years!

I might buy one of those bathing suits and if I do, I’ll tell you like it really is….scrunched up, bunched up and flying up and what they do and don’t do.  I might even take a picture….of my legs.  But don’t hold your breath.  In the meantime, I’m gonna make some brownies and mail them to those models. They need a little nourishment.


  1. Like to say to a lot of people …If it zip it still doesn’t mean it fits. My problem is my niece and her jeans GRRR…she is not a little teen but she seems to find jeans she shouldn’t wear…Yesterday we were out of town looking at a Goodwill store and I tried to get her to try on some pants that I thought would feel her better. Her grandma and I thought the jeans looked great and gave a better shape to her bum. Nope she didn’t like them…Her jeans she does wear are tight like skinny jeans and she is always pulling them up. I look at her and she says they are too big = /
    I just thought High school is not going to be pretty if she is always pulling up her pants that are rolling off her….Help is all I can say…She is being raised by a single parent of course my brother…mother not around that of she has a lot of Mental problem so…If anyone has any idea how I can help my niece to understand it will be great = )


    • Oh, that’s tough….seems like everyone is wearing clothes that don’t fit, but especially teenagers! And I have never understood wearing jeans that don’t cover my butt ~ lord knows I don’t need to show it off on purpose! Good luck….I would suggest tv or magazine, but they’re terrible, too.


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