Happy Freakin’ Thanksgiving…..

Perhaps I should start at the beginning ~ but first let me say how thankful I am for all that I have.

Now that that’s taken care of, let me tell you a little bit about my Thanksgiving week and the few days before the official beginning of Thanksgiving week ~

The Tater had a stomach bug the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving week, and we woke to vomit covered bed and baby.  The vomit fest continued into Thursday, but we decided to throw caution out with the sheets and head to Chattanooga for the weekend with Mac’s family….we are idiots.

Chattanooga is a beautiful town, high up in the mountains with incredible scenery….and lots of curvy roads.  Did I mention that stomach bug?  Oh yeah, I did.

We had rented a cabin at the TOP of Lookout Mountain, and this might surprise you, but to get to the TOP of Lookout Mountain you have to go about 15 miles UP very curvy roads.  We managed to do this a night, when it’s total pitch black dark and there are no street lights, moonlight or flashlights.  After checking out several driveways that were in no way connected to our cabin, we finally found ours and Mac’s sister and brother-in-law.  We couldn’t call them because THERE WAS NO CELL SERVICE on TOP of Lookout Mountain.

The weekend turned out beautifully, lots of antiquing (ok, I hate antique stores but it was something to do….if there wasn’t anything else to do….like eat broccoli or something).  Mostly, the Tater and I sat in the truck and listened to music, read and told stories.

On Monday before Thanksgiving, we head home. Mac is really sick by this time, snottin’, sneezing, coughin’…you know, all the fun stuff.  I’ve started to cough a little, but I’m NOT GOING TO GET SICK!

Tuesday dawns and Thank God it’s a school day, so we send Tater to school, plan for my parents to come stay on Wednesday (through Sunday!! YEAH!!) and get the house in order.  Mac is pretty sick….I’m sneezing but I’M NOT GOING TO GET SICK!

Tuesday afternoon, the Tater’s other family picks her up ~ she’ll come back on Friday and we’ll have Thanksgiving on Saturday with my parents, my son and his family and all the fixings ~ it’s a Traditional Thanksgiving at our house this year ~ big fat turkey and everything! Yeah…can’t WAIT!!!

Wednesday morning ~ I wake with horrible pain in my head…you know where there’s a sledge-hammer pounding on your nose and an ice pick in your ear.  And my nose has begun to run.  I don’t mean the sniffles. No, I mean all my body fluids have decided to drain from my nose and I simply cannot stop the flow.  I stuffed Kleenex up my nose, letting the ends dangle simply so I could use my hands to get ready.  I carried my box of Kleenex room to room, afraid to be out of reach of the box for fear I couldn’t move fast enough and the steady stream would overtake me.  Mac decides he should go to the doctor, too, sure he has a sinus infection.  But, since I’M NOT GOING TO GET SICK, I have to go to the doctor before my parents get here, because if they think I’m sick, they won’t come.  And that’s just not gonna happen.

I call my doctor and they say they can see me next week ~ which really isn’t an option cause by next week, I’ll be dead.  I impress upon them the importance of seeing me RIGHT NOW (I didn’t even cuss…aren’t you proud??) and they agree it might be best…can I be there at 9:50?  Absofreakinlutely!

If everyone is really quick, I can get to the doctor, see the doctor and get back home before my parents get here…lucky for me I live very close to my doctors (I KNEW it was the right thing to do!!!) and my parents HAD to stop at The Mighty Dollar (a very important place if you don’t have one in your home town!).  It’s looking pretty good….

Doc says I have an ear infection and a sinus infection (I swear, if I could write prescriptions, I could totally avoid the doctor’s office) and gave me 2 Z-Pacs (THANK YOU!!!).  I get the prescription, grab some more Kleenex and Alka Setzer Cold Plus Severe Flu and head for home!   Mac says he’s going to Urgent Care, since his doctor is closed.  (WTH? It’s Wednesday….not a holiday!)

My parents show up, I’m drinking my Alka Setzer Flu Warm Medicine stuff and have had my 1st Z-pac meds and am feeling….like shit.

But hey ~ we’re going back to Mighty Dollar, cause that’s the place to go!  Christmas Shopping awaits!!!

We manage to finish shopping, stop and get lunch (I can only eat half…a sure sign I am sick…dammit.)

At home, Mac says he has a sinus infection and the Urgent Care doctor gives him a Z-Pac and some Prednisone (hmmm, wonder why I didn’t get Prednisone….).

Thanksgiving Day dawns bright and clear ~ and we are just hanging around, not planning on a dinner of any sort because it’s happening on Saturday.  Because I have lived a good life, there is a NCIS marathon on and I watch 147 episodes of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  Even my mom says, “That boy is easy to look at”.  No Shit…he’s beautiful.

Friday ~ ah, Friday!  I’m feeling so much better, so is Mac, the Tater is coming home and we’re happy!

The knock on the door brings The Tater home, but feverish, sick and lethargic.  I find out she’s been this way for 2 days (W.T.F???).  We immediately go to Urgent Care (again, her doctor isn’t open….it’s FRIDAY for God’s sake, what is WRONG with you people?).

The diagnosis?  The Flu. The Real Flu. The “Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Leave the House, Do Not Come In Contact With Anyone Else For 48 Hours” Flu.

Tamiflu for the three of us.

I call my parents, who decide they should leave. I call my son and tell them there’ll be no Thanksgiving Dinner on Saturday.

About 8 hours into it, the cocktail of a Z-Pac, tamiflu, Alka Setzer Cold Plus and Flu, and my other meds begin to rumble in my belly like kami-kazi fighters fighting for belly space ~ and I AM DONE.

Saturday night, the Tater asks, “hey, when are we gonna have Thanksgiving dinner and Turkey?”

We explain she was sick and no one could come for dinner….but the tears come anyway.  And since Mac is such a sucker for her tears, we call around to see where we can get some Turkey and gravy.  She’s feeling much better and it’s almost been 48 hours and if we don’t get out of this house and do something we’ll all go mad.

I call Golden Corral and they assure me they have turkey and gravy on the buffet bar.  So we dress up in our fancy clothes and head to Golden Corral (it’s possible we were overdressed for Golden Corral but who cares!).

I see the sign on the buffet that says, “Turkey”….only it’s not turkey on that platter.  No, I would recognize turkey.  Under the lights, under the sign that says, “Turkey” lays a beautiful rack of ribs…..without a turkey in sight.

The Tater said her turkey tasted just like chicken!! Amazing how that’ll happen, huh?

Can I just tell you how happy I am that tomorrow is Monday, school is back in and things will be back to Normal?

And just for the record…..at Christmas….I’M NOT GOING TO BE SICK!