If you have ants, DumbAss Ants are the kind to have

I’ve got ants.

Everyone has had ants at least once in your adult life as a home dweller, right?  (If you say no, I’m just gonna say you’re lying to make me feel better, ok?)  If you’re really lucky, you’ve only had to deal with any bug/insect/creature once.

We live in a 150 year old farmhouse with more issues than Cosmo, and we live out in the country.  Occasionally, ants will stop by for a snack.  We’re not really that kind and loving, but we are sometimes a little sloppy. (Before you freak out and think we live in some dirty, old, nasty home, remember that we DON’T.) I’m always amazed that the ants know about our sloppiness and can find a way in to be fed wonderful snacks of crumbs, even after total obliteration of earlier invasions.  They must be pretty smart….

However, the ants I found today are dumbass ants.

Most of the time I’ll find the ant trail in the pantry where SOMEONE (no names please) has left the honey bottle slightly open, the cracker bag wide open (HERE!!  COME HAVE A SNACK HERE!!), or some empty candy wrapper (a huge treat for the ants ~ YES!  We have found the buffet!!).  (You thought the empty candy wrapper goes in the trash?  Oh no, that would make too much sense.  Yesterday I found an empty pudding cup and the spoon still in the empty cup.)

Dumb ass Ants…

I’ve even found the ant trail around the sink, and since they are obviously thirsty, I shoot them with the faucet on full blast.  Wouldn’t want them dehydrating.

But THESE ants I found today?  Nope, none of the ‘normal’ places you would expect to find ants.  THESE ants were on my kitchen floor…..and when I followed their stupid little zigzagging asses, I found them heading under the kitchen sink.  WHERE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD AT ALL.  Just some dishwasher detergent, old flower vases, Swiffer cloths, dishcloths, clorox wipes, and a bottle of “Scrub Free Bathroom Cleaner” (I’ve been looking for that everywhere under the bathroom sink FOREVER, sure it would appear every time I looked).

So I put out the little ant motels, turned out the lights and went in the living room to watch some mindless TV.  Where one crawled on my arm.  And then another crawled on my arm.

Now they’re in the LIVING ROOM?

Told you they were Dumbass ants. Exterminator is coming tomorrow, when we’re gonna obliterate their Dumb asses all over again.


  1. LOL…..I think I live on top of the colony….LOL…Every year it seems like the neighbor next on their front sidewalk …Mass ant invasion something that shocks most people. So I spray this ant killer and there gone for the rest of the summer. the front yard hills of ants every where. I have had a ant visit me in the bathroom. Are they say they need a shower too…LOL


  2. Oh yeah on the ants. :/ We had a treatment back in May and the guy is going to have to come back. We spotted 8 ant hills in the yard. With fall coming I am afraid they will get back in when the weather turns cooler. :/


  3. I know the feeling 😦 A few years ago we had a horrible infestation mostly centered around our kitchen sink (really on just about ever available surface of our home, including the cupboards) and it took an act of God and a small army to irradiate them from our home. We’ve been lucky enough to stop them in their tracks, outside the home, since…..until last night when we found a half dozen or so wondering around in the sink 😦 Hubby dutifully went off and put some bait out around the perimeter of the house in hopes of nipping this little problem in the bud. I swear if I have to go through another ant apocalypse again I’m MOVING!!


    • yes, I’m thinking a flame thrower might be a good remedy for the little bastards. They sure are resilient! I am amazed at how they get in, find the stuff (or this case, the cleaner!) and then track thousands of their little friends in, too. They sure are social little things.


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