It’s officially Spring now….the calendar has been saying it’s Spring for almost a month, but Mother Nature had other ideas and we froze our ass off for a few weeks, but in the good ol’ South, Spring really has Sprung.
Which means I have to shave my legs and dig out my summer dresses, skirts and pretty, shiny sandals. It also means I have to buy a new Spanx, cause I reign holy terror on a Spanx for a season and they just aren’t the same after all that wear and tear. (And some of mine have a little more wear than others.) And lemme tell ya ~ I LOVE my Spanx. It has nothing to do with how I think others see me, wanting to look the way society says I should or trying to be a certain size. But it does has everything to do with my legs not catching on fire when I walk.
So I buy my new Spanx, bring it home, pick out my skirt du jour and prepare to walk barelegged (and fire free) for the rest of the summer.
Have you ever put on a new Spanx, right out of the package? After wiggling all over the bedroom (at one point I wasn’t sure if I was dancing, creating a new defensive move or sweatin’ to the oldies…or all 3 simultaneously), I finally decided putting on this new Spanx had to be just like a newborn baby tunneling thru the ol’ birth canal on its way to the grand entrance known as life …
“oohhh, so close now, just let me push a little bit more…
Oh oh oh, I just got a leg out, now lets work on the hip….
wiggle, wiggle, wiggle and wiggle once more and YES, another leg through!
PULLLLLLL, argh, PULLLLL once more. Phew, that sorta hurt.
Maybe if I twist a little to the left, I can get my butt covered!
Ahhh, finally! Success ~ I am READY!”
How long til it’s cold again????