Some days you just know that you look….good. Everything is right ~ the outfit, the hair, the makeup, the accessories. You look in the mirror and say, “Yep, this is a good look.” And then you proceed to wear the exact same thing for the next 47 days. But I digress….
Yesterday, I felt that way ~ everything matched, my hair liked me and I didn’t look like a make up doll that had magic marker makeup applied by 4 year olds. It was even a little cooler so my boob sweat wasn’t running down my belly before I got to the car. Karma, baby!
And on those rare days when all the stars align, and karma is my friend, I envision myself walking into some chic place and people see me walking in
s – l – o – w – m – o – t – i – o – n
whipping my sun glasses off (but in slow motion) and the wind slightly blowing my hair around as I shake it out of my eyes….they might even smile as they watch me walk in, wondering.
And then Reality Slaps me hard ~ Because in Reality, I am walking into Wal-Mart, dodging all the crazy people out on a Saturday afternoon in 100 degree heat, trying to avoid the greeter and fighting with the baby buckle on the buggy so I can just get a damn buggy and get the hell done with my shopping before I snap on somebody. My hair is flat from the struggle, sweat and humidity, my lipstick is worn off and I am fairly certain my boob sweat is at epic levels.
And by the time I finish and finally get to leave the only
s – l – o – w – m – o – t – i – o – n
I’m working on is the drive-thru line at McDonald’s waiting on my sweet tea.
And they said I don’t have a firm grip on reality ~ pfffttt! I’ve got so much reality I could have my own show and 3 spin offs just from the 1st year. What I DON’T have is enough Fantasy ~ now THAT I could use some more of every damn day!
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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments. And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out load. At the bar. With other people near by. It’s even FUNNIER then! 🙂 Cheers!
Lipstick, Margaritas and Hairspray 
New to your blog and LOVE it!! More please! 🙂
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Thank you SO much for letting me know ~ and I promise, I’ll be back Very Soon! Cheers 😀
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Totally the most enjoyable blog I’ve read!!! Love your view!
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Thank YOU! Cheers 🙂
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Okay, I know I subscribed to your blog a long time ago, but I haven’t been getting the updates! I’m going to re-subscribe right now. This post was hilarious, as I have days like this ALL.THE.TIME. I just feel like I’m looking so hot, and then I’ll walk by a mirror and see the old gut just a poochin’. Then I flip the mirror off and act like I didn’t see it and put that strut back in my step. 🙂 Thanks soooo much for posting my link–you are awesome!!!!
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🙂 Just keep on walking, girl!
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I love your blog posts. So many of your everyday adventures ring true for me, it’s great to know you’re out there taking on the world.
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I really need a cape….and boots. Ok, I’ve got Cowgirl boots, so I’m good there. But that rope would really be helpful 😀 ONWARD!! Cheers!
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I love reading your posts on FB. This is the first time I have read your blog. I love it and I can relate to so many things. I had the boob sweat thing going on today when I met my daughter for lunch. I HATE THAT. Please keep posting. Even on a bad day you can make me LOL.
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Thank you so much ~ and that damn boob sweat is epic this year ~ the humidity combined with the heat means I’m sweating BEFORE I even get dressed 🙂 And my bad days make me laugh, too…later. After a drink. Or 3. 😀
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I just LOVE you!! I am a Southern Belle who was born in Oregon. My whole family was raised in the south till me as my Grandpa was fond of rubbing in. I hate Wal Mart but I go at least once a week and I swear I’m gonna kill someone eventually in there! Holy Cow is there a factory that cranks these folks out?! I have finally decided that wondering why folks are stupid is like wondering why Stevie Wonder is blind….. Keep it up you make my life much better and I can’t imagine a world without big hair, boob sweat,(Oregon has a desert and I’m in the middle of it, 102 today),and you!!
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Wanna move in? Seems like we think EXACTLY the same way 🙂 And Lawd ~ PEOPLE ARE CRAZY is just always my answer when someone says, ‘Why did they do that?’….there just isn’t an answer! Cheers!
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Right there with you on the boob sweat, Sistah! I try to do my “runnin around” at night at the 24-hour Walmart…..most of the Sheeple are home drinkin’ by then. &8~)
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Yes, 6:00 am is a good time, too cause they ain’t awake yet-ha! Cheers!
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OMGoodness, I have a couple of those go to outfits that damn you know you look good in…. and then some adorable daughter says …um mom is that the only thing you are going to wear this summer?……. but even the accessories are awesome lol and for me the flip flops or sandals have to match the top of course!……. ok then later you see yourself in a picture wearing it!!! EWWWWWWWW! scarey!!!! then you think…damn i wonder if i made it on one of those Wally World horrible dresser Emails……..lol…. yep drive thru Mickey De’s for me today also, iced coffee to match the beige top today……..<3 from me in MA, cleaning the closet today, your blog was inspiration! lol
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Ha ~ I love it when they say, “Are you wearing THAT?” No, this was just a dress rehearsal! Cheers ~ And GAWD ~ I HATE to clean out the closet ~ 😀
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i absolutely wil not go another day without reading you first! I love the way laughing at your antics cheers me up and makes me realize we are not alone in our daiy struggles with life. see you tomorrow !!!!!
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Oh GAWD! The Pressure 🙂 Thank you for telling me and You’re Welcome for the start to your day! Hope you’ve liked my facebook page because there is Definitely daily antics there ~ blog posts are about once a week or when the feeling hits me…hard! Cheers!
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OMG! Sounds like my Saturday! Ok, I was too lazy to do the hair and makeup. but my outfit was cute lol. The trip to Walmart wasn’t so bad, but by the time I left Best Buy, I thought I might need bail money. The boob sweat was starting to make me itch, and creating a rash on top of it; And the line for the McDonald’s drive thru was so long, I said screw it lol.
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Bail Money…sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps me out of trouble 🙂 And I think bars need drive-thrus….
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Sadly, you have described by Summer, with the exception of Wal-Mart that I stopped shopping at twenty years ago. Boob sweat, check. Flat, and I would add FRIZZY, hair, check. And, unfortunate “undercarriage” sweat. Ugh.
My blessing is that I live in FL, a place that should be hotter than, the hinges in Hades, but other places have become the “new” FL. Without air conditioning.
Raising my unsweetened ice tea to toast all of us, experiencing a personal heatwave, We WILL survive!
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Yes, we will! I might need LOTS of tea, but we will survive. And I’m gonna need a shot or twelve of something in the tea as well 😀 Cheers!
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LOL!!! You are awesomely funny!!!
I know exactly what you mean! Ha Ha
One store makes me cringe, just turning that corner and seeing that blue store…. all the hair on my neck stands up, I feel like hissing (like a cat), ha ha!!!!!! I hate that store!
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Mac does, too ~ won’t hardly go in. But we were in the ‘line’….Sam’s, Wal-Mart and Lowes all together and we had to go to Sam’s and Lowes and pick up a few other things….HAD to go to Wal-Mart ~ Ha. Thanks!
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Matt usually stops at Walmart for me, when he goes by the nice big one at like 3 AM!
I like the superstore ones, but our local one is just awful! The selection is horrible. Shelves are usually half empty…. it must be a management issue. Other WM’s are not like that…. I like to stop and shop when we are on our way south.
BTW, can’t wait to head to NC in a few weeks! People are so friendly, it takes me a day or two to get used to it! LOL
Then of course we get back here and we’ll stop somewhere and my big mouth will say “yep, we are back north!” Because people literally bark at you. Ha ha
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Ha ~ Oops, wrong state! I am such a bitch when it comes to hateful people ~ I will MAKE someone speak to me ~ I don’t even know why ~ I just think it’s rude for someone in a retail store not to speak when they are checking me out and taking my money 😀
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You have to live close to me because I swear you sound just like me (i.e. flat hair, boob sweat, etc). The only difference, I go to the mall on Saturday, not Walmart. I would probably “slap” someone if I had to go to Walmart on a Saturday!!! PS – I love reading what write because you make me laugh out loud!
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Thank you! And I live in Western NC, but I think we are ‘world wide’ -ha! And I’m just so not a mall person, haven’t been in ages. Honestly, I’d rather just stay home, but I can’t talk anyone into going to Wal-Mart FOR ME! And Thank for letting me know I make you LOL!
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