UPDATE 12/10/14: I have now shown my face to y’all LOTS of times….and you are always so very gracious and kind. Which is exactly what I think will happen when you show your face to those you love 🙂
** This post is a little more serious than my usual ones…cause I am really serious about this. So, ya’ll just pay attention when you read this and try not to smile or laugh at any part of it. Cause it’s serious. I mean it. **
I have albums and albums filled with pictures of birthday parties, holidays, get togethers, special events and just plain every day stuff.
As I scroll through them I smile when I see my ever-changing family, reminisce on good times and think about when we’ll get together again. These pictures of my friends and family help me remember the good times, and engage my brain in happy thoughts. And if these pictures are older, I marvel at the baby Tater was and how she has grown SO MUCH in 6 short years. I look back at my now-grown son when he was a boy and realize I did the best I could as a single mom, raising him alone until Mac came along and became the father he needed. I see pictures of my parents and notice the subtle (and not-so-subtle) changes in appearance and wonder if I’ll look just like my mom does now or if I’ll have my dads characteristics.
But there’s something missing from all my photo albums.
Me.
It’s more than “I’m always the one taking the picture”….that’s almost always a given. It’s because I don’t like to have my picture taken. I don’t think my pictures look very good, so I’ll just shake my head and say, “Oh that’s ok, ya’ll just get together and I’ll take your picture.” And when Mac says, “But it looks just like you”, I recoil, and say, “Surely not!”.
And I need to get the hell over it.
When I’m dead and gone, hopefully a long, long time from now, I want Tater, and the rest of my family to know what I looked like. I believe they’ll look at those pictures of me and remember how fabulous I was, or how funny, or that I could bake the hell out of a box of brownies. And that I could drive really good, too. They might even remember my fondness for lipstick, margaritas and hairspray.
But what I DON’T believe they’ll be thinking, as they peruse the photo albums, is “Damn, look at that chin! She almost has TWO!” or “Wow, her thighs sure were huge….and LOOK AT THAT BUTT!”. NO, I don’t think that’ll be the 1st things they say (and it’d probably won’t be the last thing they say either, but if it is, I’ll be back to haunt them ~ they’ll look in the mirror and I’ll be plucking chin hairs like a boss).
So, I say this with love:
Take the damn picture. And when you are with other women and the camera and phones come out, TAKE THEIR PICTURE.
And keep taking the pictures until they are happy with it ~ be THAT kind of girlfriend. You know what we all do…..we say, “Let me see that picture.” And then we proceed to tear it apart and say things like “Oh, I look awful, delete that” or “Holy Crap, I’m too fat/short/skinny/pale/dark/tall/ugly/flat/round/chubby/insert other demeaning remark”.
So offer to take a picture of your best friend, your girl friend, your co-worker, your cousin, your sister, and any other girls you see….and then insist when they balk.
And when you take that picture, let them see it….and if they don’t like it, take another. And another. And another…until they are happy with what they see.
Let’s not wait til we’re the perfect size, the perfect shape, have the perfect hair or outfit or our makeup isn’t just right. Let’s not think about how you used to look or how you want to look. Just take the damn picture ~ this IS us, this IS how we really look….and people LOVE us just the way we are.
I’m gonna take a deep breath now, cause I’m putting my face in your hands…here’s a pic of… ME. Yep, never before published outside my little circle of friends and family. Be kind, people…be kind.
PS ~ Tater took this picture this Spring when we were getting ready to go somewhere. She said, “Sasha can I take your picture, you look pretty”. OF COURSE. And then I began the training…”Let me see that picture, baby girl…oh, let’s take another one” because both my chins were showing in the 1st one. And the 2nd one made me look a little homicidal. The 3rd one had one eye closed. THIS is the 4th take and I’m pretty happy with it. So~take the picture…as many times as you need to til you’re happy 🙂
And for the love of Kodak, smile a little, too, okay?
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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments. And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out load. At the bar. With other people near by. It’s even FUNNIER then! 🙂 Cheers!
Lipstick, Margaritas and Hairspray 
Your so right , I’m me and they love me and will love haveing pics of me.When my mom passed she had had a photographer take her pictures she didn’t like them especially the one I chose , It’s been 21 yrs it’s the picture ony notes tandom that I say good nite and good morning to. It’s the place I sit and talk to her when I need advice or a hug,a photographer is a good thing I think I’ll get some taken . ❤
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Shared this with my baby sister who HATES having her picture taken!
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I will never delete those pics my grandkids take again!
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i will never delete those pics my grandkids take again!
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wow! powerful thought, thanks for it. I will stop eleting those pics my granddaughter takes.p
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I read this the first time you posted it. It made me cry both times. It describes me to a T. You’re right. I need to get over it. Photos are for other people’s memories. I don’t pick them apart. Why should I believe the people that love me are picking me apart? Crazy! Thanks for reporting this.
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I have so many pictures of me and my girlfriends that I think people think I am gay, but OH WELL. I like memories!! I agree with you on this one Sasha!! You are fabulous.
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Janis ~ i don’t have ENOUGH pics of me and my girlfriends…thanks for making me realize that!!! We’re planning a girls night out Friday and I’m gonna remedy that!! And I know you’re fabulous, too girl!! cheers!
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You hit the nail on the head!!! Me wuv you!!!
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Sammi! Hit it hard! Thanks!
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You are gorgeous and you Dear One inspire me.I love your hair,your expressions on your face and I want to have my hair cut like yours.Guess what this blog was written just for me….even if nobody else does all these things and have felt like this (I sure have ). You are a doll! Love your page and think you are as crazy as me.(In the best of ways!) ❤ xx
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Rita ~ You make me SMILE~ Thank YOU so much for your kind kind words and yep, I’m crazy as a loon OFTEN! Cheers Girl!
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You make my day! Love your sassiness girlfriend! I always laugh and re-post! Keep ’em coming!
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Jan ~ Thank YOU! And thanks so much for reposting, too! Cheers!
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Yes, we need to read this on a regular basis. I have been very guilty of being too fat, grey, tired, etc. So I’m gonna learn to smile and get the picture taken.
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Susan ~ You go girl!! Take that picture 🙂
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Your beautiful Sasha, and I love your outlook.. you surely make me smile everyday
Glitter on sistah!
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Wendy ~ Thank you SO much for your kind words and I’ll be Glittering on like a crazy woman!!
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I think you are beautiful just the way You are 😊
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Tangle ~ Thank YOU so much!
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Hi! Just met you today. Don’t know why we haven’t crossed paths before now. I like the way you think and write. I will be turning the big 60 in September, and I can’t believe I’m dreading it so. I, who have always insisted it’s ONLY A NUMBER! My high school classmates and I decided we should have a big birthday party for everyone this Summer, so it will happen in August. I’m wishing I could drop 30 lbs before then, but I know it won’t happen. Funny, but in my head I’m still just 25, and I still like to play as if I am! Just wish my bod still looked the way it did then. I have never liked posing for pictures; I’m not very photogenic. I have no children to leave pictures to, but your post struck a chord with me. Life is too short and much too precious to stay in the shadows. So, I think I will embrace cameras and try to be in as many pictures as possible. It will be fun to see how many different poses I can strike! Also, I just might just end up liking a picture or two of myself. PHOTOGRAPHERS BEWARE!!! Nice to meet you, Sasha!
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Joyce! Welcome to the house…and GIRL ~ Take those pics and post them everywhere! And YES, see how many different FABULOUS poses you can come up with 🙂 Cheers!!! (Oh, and I’m SILL 25, too!)
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I love your blogs and posts, and you are beautiful inside and out. you look like a person I could meet on the street and become best friends with.
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Elaine ~ thank YOU so much for your kind kind words! And Yep ~ we could run into each other and stop for a drink and talk for hours 🙂 Cheers!
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…sniff sniff… I just read your blog “Lights, Camera, Action”. (such a lump in my throat) Girl, you are amazing ! This truly made me cry. I (like you) HATE to have my pic taken. But…I gotta say – your pic was fabulous – Believe it or not, it was pretty close to what I had pictured (except the hair style….LOVE the hair! don’t EVER change the hair !) I will say — “the eyes have it !” …they say that the way to see inside someone’s soul is through the eyes – well, yours say – warm, sincere, funny and maybe even a little naughty! They seem to tell just who you are. (snicker snicker)
Thanks for the blog – it helped me realize that I need to be “happy with the skin I’m in” !!
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Tina ~ Thanks so much for reading and writing!! yep, these eyes are a little crazy – ha! And I figured I might as well be happy with the skin I’m in…I have plenty of it to keep me warm 😉 Cheers Girl! Oh, and the hair? Yeah, it’s good 😀 I’ll be keeping it JUST this way!
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Sasha, you are very beautiful. I love reading you on FB and have enjoyed your stories that you have blogged, you make me laugh. Rock on! Michelle
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Michelle ~ THANK YOU so much! Wow, that just about makes my day perfect 🙂 I am so very glad you enjoyed the stories and my page, I sincerely love writing them ~ cheers!
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This so true.That is a great picture! Your hair is lovely & your smile makes me feel at home.
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Jackie ~ thanks for those kind words! And Yes, I sincerely believe these are very true words….take the picture!! Cheers 😀
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Hi Sasha.. I have been reading your posts on facebook and found your blog.. I sse your photo and you are just as adorable as I imagined..
I can actually hear your southern voice( st least thats what my mind hears as I read your posts..Thanks for bringing sunshine on my daily life
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Awwww, Bless Your Heart 😀 And yes, it’s pretty southern – ha! If I try, I can sound a little less so, but it usually comes out in droves no matter what I do! And thanks for reading and liking what you’ve read ~ I keep thinking of stuff I need to write…tomorrow – ha!
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Thank you!!!! This really touched my heart in a way I could never put into words!!! I have printed this and put it in my scrapbook of things I want my daughter to know. BTW you’re so cute!! Remind me of a little kokeshi doll ❤
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Thank YOU for letting me know! And yes, we need to teach our daughters that they are beautiful inside and out, no matter what anyone else thinks!! Cheers!
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Ha! I most definitely am that woman you describe and you just now made me realize that not only am I doing myself and injustice but my family who loves me unconditionally as well. I am always the first to grab the camera and have made a point of being the one who takes the pix. I always say I’m just not photogenic or make some other moronic excuse – time to get over myself and get real. Thanks Sasha, this one really hit home for me!!
P.S. You’re super cute xox
Kerry (a lurker – this is the first time I’ve ever responded to a blog post – EVER!)
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You will not regret it ~ and everyone will love seeing your pics with YOU in them !! Cheers and Thank You for commenting!! Lots of love, Sasha
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There is nothing for u to be embarrassed of! I’m 28, my hair is starting to grey and right now the double chin is coming along nicely, lol. All I can say is I hope I look as good as you when I get older!
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THANK you for the nice words~and I have no idea how long I was grey before I stopped coloring it, but I absolutely LOVE my grey now!!
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I think you are GORGEOUS!!!! You should be in more family photos 🙂
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I’m gonna copy your words and put them on cards to give people 🙂 Thank you so much, you are a kind woman ~ cheers!
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You look just like I thought you would….beautiful! 🙂
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Awe ~ thank you SOOO much!
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Always…always…always take the picture! Those pics become even more priceless to you, your friends and family as the years fly by like they always seem to do. A few years ago when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I realized how important photos would be to my family and friends “just in case” I didn’t win my battle. Every time I saw someone with a camera I was the one saying let’s take a pic! I wanted to be remembered happy, healthy and smiling. I quit worrying that my hair or makeup wasn’t perfect or about that 5 or 10 pounds I wanted to lose. Being healthy and with those I love became much more important than being my idea of “perfect.” It was during this battle I was blessed with the realization that they love me just as I am! Flaws, imperfections and all. ♡♥♡
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What a fabulous story to remind us to take the picture, no matter what! Thank you for sharing and yes, they DO love you 🙂
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Loved this-I used be the one taking the pictures, or helping behind the scenes, so I didn’t have to talk to people. NO more! Thanks to my great friends and coworkers, I am happy and comfortable in front of the camera, or meeting new people. I am glad that you are encouraging others to get in front of the camera-life is too short to worry about what people think of your picture-ham it up, goof off, HAVE FUN! By the way-great photo, you are beautiful!
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Yippie ~ and YES, life is definitely too short to worry about the little stuff! Cheers and THANK YOU for the fabulous compliment.
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DAMMIT, Sasha, you’re not supposed to make me cry! I realized that I was always the picture-taker…always involved with my kids…always there…but not in the pictures. Now, I’ve blinked my eyes…and they’re GONE! I can’t go back and get in those pictures WITH my kids. I was ALWAYS there, but will they remember that??? Whew, ok, now for what I MEANT to say… You’re beautiful! You actually look exactly like I pictured you…and that’s a good thing! I love your silver hair (although I color my own)! My husband says that his hair is “chrome”…
And have I told you this week that I just love the hell outta you??? 🙂
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I KNOW! But I’ve been crying with every comment so we’re even 🙂 Yes, you blink and it’s over ~ but it’s never too late ~ photo bomb EVERYONE of their pictures now – ha! It’ll be great 🙂 And I think I like ‘chrome’ too! And NOOOO, you haven’t told me this week! So, now we’re good – whew! Cheers ~ Love ya LOTS!!
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Bravo beautiful woman and mama! You are so right. I just had this conversation myself recently. My kids will have all these memories of me sitting by the pools Nile they swim. Why? Because someone has yet to invent the pants bathing suit. It’s so dumb and so selfish and so vain. And it has to stop! They don’t care what I look like. They care that I give them piggyback rides thought the water, play Marco Polo and let them stand on my shoulders and have handstand contests. I love this. Thank you for helping remember what really matters!
Vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
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Marco! POLO! Do it, do it, do it! They will ALWAYS remember the fun they had in the pool with you ~ that’s the memory they will cherish…who cares that you aren’t perfect in YOUR eyes, you’re perfect in theirs!
ENJOY!!
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I just started following your blog a couple of weeks ago (BTW….How the hell did I miss it all this time?) I love your pic!… your eyes are laughing and makes me think “Hey, Id love to hang out with her!…. And your right, I need to take more pictures! I dont want my own lil “Tater” to wonder what her Mimi looked like back in the day 🙂
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You were drinking, THAT’s how you missed it – ha! And thank you, the eyes tell ya so much, don’t they! Yes, take those pics cause your tater will definitely want to see Mimi is all her glory! Cheers!
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Thank you for this! 🙂 I will definitely be having more photos taken of ME with my kids. Most of my favorite memories are sitting around with my grandparents and the rest of the family going through all the family photo albums! Some of the best ones where the ones that in todays age would be the delete or edit photo but what we all saw were the cherished memories, the laughs and the feelings we had then. So from now on I will say “Please take OUR picture”.
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YES! Going thru the albums and sometimes laughing at the funny faces and great memories is the BEST PART! Enjoy ~ and always take OUR picture!! 🙂
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thank u sasha i needed to hear that.i love pictures, but hate the way i look in them now so i avoid being in them.
p.s. i think u look great
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You are welcome ~ now go get your picture taken 🙂 And thanks bunches!!!
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Love that picture, Sasha Fierce!!! You are gorgeous AND you have a beautiful spirit!!! Keep up the great work!!!! YOU ROCK!!!! 🙂
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Thank YOU! Tater’s pre-school teacher used to call me Sasha Fierce 🙂 Again, thank you for your very kind words ❤
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I LOVE your picture! Being a “mature” BBW, I know exactly what you mean about being the one who takes the pictures.. that has been me as well all these years. My marta has always been “if you don’t like it, don’t look” but I would not have my picture taken — ever! That changed several years ago when I went back to visit my son in Texas (home). My daughter-in-law wanted a picture of me, of ME?!! I have even changed my Facebook picture to ME – that one was a biggie! So now, you can’t stop me from getting my picture taken. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
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Fabulous! Thanks so much for sharing and yes, aren’t those eye opening moments great! And you are a BBW ~ I LOVE that! Thanks for always being IN the picture!
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You are a beautiful lady. I hope you are never hesitant to be in front of the camera again.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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Fantastic!!! Going to share with all my friends who do all that and more to avoid pictures. Perhaps I do a little of that stuff, too.
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This post had me in tears. Thank you for showing me the light. You’re so pretty and I LOVE your hair.
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Don’t ya be crying on me now, cause then I’LL cry 🙂 Thanks for the love and letting me know…and Yeah, I love my hair, too now!
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Great picture! You are rocking the silver. Except for leftovers, most everything else improves with age.
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Beautiful….. both the story and the picture!!! I’m afraid I’ve been in that same boat over the years and this has crossed my mind lately after the recent birth of my 6th grandchild who lives 800+ miles away with his two siblings! When I went to help my daughter out after this baby was born, her middle son – 21 months old – had forgotten who I was, and was even a little afraid of me as though I was a perfect stranger. Brought tears to my eyes, because only 21 months ago, I had held him in my arms when he was a newborn, and loved every precious moment of those first few weeks of his life. I took tons of pictures of him then but not many of him with me. Thanks for reminding us of what’s really important in life! And by the way, I absolutely LOVE your blog and FB posts!!!
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Oh, send that baby some pics of his grandmother! And think about Skype or facetime on the Iphone. .. sounds crazy, but they need to see you! And thanks so much for the love~I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the love I’ve received from my page and blog 🙂 Cheers!
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You are gorgeous! Thanks for making all my days better with your facebook posts and your great blogs!
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Thank you so much for your kind words! And that gorgeous comment? Yeah, that pretty much rocks, too 🙂
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I love your posts and share them all the time, this is the first time i’ve read your blog. Loved it! I so agree with you I always hate my picture being taken, because when i see the picture I always think who is that women, lol it isnt me is it!!!! You are absolutely goreous!!!! what a beautiful woman! Thank you for sharing and you know what ….Just Be Yourself, everyone else is taken! (i think i got that from one of your posts!! lol) ❤ You to pieces!
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** blushing ** Thank you for your kind words ~ and yes, it seems to be a world wide epidemic that we don’t want our pics taken! Cheers!
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Love this! I am going to share it with my lipstick wearing, hairspray spraying, and margarita drinkin’ girlfriends! Thanks!
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Absofreakinlutely! Cheers!
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the timing of this couldn’t have been more perfect for me…I took my family canoeing this past weekend and I was taking pictures of my husband and the kids and my husband said let me have the camera and I will take one of you and the kids..my reply was of course..HELL NO!!! he looked at me and said you’re gonna regret that and took it anyways:) then towards the end a nice lady came along and offered to take a family picture and as I hesitated I thought the same thing….who cares, when I’m gone hopefully my kids will look at the picture and remember the awesome mom I tried to be and the fun things we did together:)
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Wow! Wonderful story ~ I bet ya’ll had a blast! And yes, ALWAYS take the picture 🙂 Cheers!
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YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! Period, period, period!! I am in tears, I thought I was the only old broad who felt this way, and I say exactly the same thing. I realized I wanted my Grands to “see” after I am gone. So, gray hair, saggy chin, chipmunk cheeks be damned!!! I pile on some mascara, red lipstick and smile away. God Bless you honey. love your blog and your FB page.
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Dammit, you made me cry 🙂 but they were good tears. Thanks for the kind words and slap on that lipstick woman! 🙂
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Silver Haired is a good term, I started turning silver @ 11 now I have a full head of it, I embrace it and love it. This blog hit home, thank you.
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Wow ~ 11, never heard of anyone going silver that young ~ and yes, I embrace it. Actually, since I was always dark headed, it’s a nice change. Thanks!!
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Well said Sasha! Loved what you wrote and I’m going to pass this on to others that I know have the same issue when it comes to photographs! True beauty lies within – you therefore are stunning!! 😀
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Thank you kindly 🙂
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I feel ya! But that’s a nice picture 🙂
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Thank you! Tater took it one afternoon when we were getting ready to go out and said, “Sasha, can I take your picture, you look pretty!” . . . now WHO could turn that down!
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Can relate to this article, well written! Love the pic, but also love you as you are, perfect!
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Thank you ma’am!!
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I started following your blog a few months back because you remind me of me. This topic is one that I have almost written about myself and you nailed it!! Moms and grandmoms are rarely in photos until they get old.. I, myself, have finally reached the age of “oh just go ahead and take the damn thing” when someone wants me in a photo.. I want my grandchildren to remember me doing things with them. Nowadays I wish I had taken a lot more photos with my daughters when they were young.. its not something I can go back and change and its one of my few regrets. My girls didn’t care what I looked like then (or now), they just wanted a photo with mom. I hope everyone takes your advice, sucks it up, and gets in as many photos as possible! Love your blog! (This one is mine: http://sherified.wordpress.com/)
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Thanks so much for the great words ~ and yes…we can’t go back and get IN those pictures, but we sure can be in them now! And I’ll definitely be reading your blog, too! Cheers!
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You are beautiful! You wrote exactly what I feel about pictures. And how it will be when I am gone…thanks love your “essays” …
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Thank you!
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