You can’t get just 2….it’s a rule!

 

hot-doughnuts-now

The Hot Doughnuts NOW sign flashed like a beacon calling me home last night after the movies.  I HAD to pull into the newly opened, shiny, make-them-right-here Krispy Kreme store…..but I stayed strong and decided to go through the drive-thru…no need adding to my paralyzing decision-making by going INSIDE!

I only wanted 2 doughnuts, one for me and one for Tater.  But I had no cash….Who carries Cash?  And I didn’t want to use my Debit card for $1.98…who does that?  So I’ll just get 6 donuts. That’ll work.  Besides, $5.58 is MUCH better than $1.98 on a Debit Card, because WHO would use a Debit Card for $1.98??

And then that sweet, little angelic girl at the speaker said magic words that put me over the flippin edge….

“For $2 more, you can get a dozen, ma’am.”

Well, THAT’S it ~ A sweet little southern girl telling me for ONLY $2 MORE I can get SIX MORE donuts?

Well, sign me up and call me Happy!  SURE, I’ll take the dozen.  AND THEY’RE HOT!!  Have sweet Flippin Mercy ~ I surely do hear the Angels singing now!!!

And THAT’S why I have 9 donuts in my Kitchen Right Now (I may have had more than my one….)!

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

 

Just one of the cool kids….

I’m not cool enough for Starbucks….

I went IN to Starbucks yesterday ~ mainly because I needed to use the restroom ~ but don’t tell them that, ok?  AND I really, REALLY wanted one of those Super Cool, Amazing, How-do-they-do-that Birthday Cake cake pops.  I am apparently addicted.  Dammit.  Like I needed another addiction…

Anyhoo, I go IN to Starbucks, instead of using the Drive-thru and just ordering one Cake Pop (who does that?).  I thought, “Hey, they have drinks…I’ll get a drink.”

Bwahahahahahaha.  Jokes on ME!

I looked at their menu…and I posted it here for you just in case you’re not familiar with it….

starbucks_menu_board

Let me tell you right here….I’m a McDonald’s Girl (and PLEASE let’s not go into how unhealthy/terrible/insert McD’sBashing here…).  I LOVE Sweet Tea and Egg McMuffins and little cheeseburgers and McD’s Fries.

Back to the Starbucks store….I’m in there, looking at that bodacious, giant menu with words that I can’t pronounce and thinking…all I really want is a Iced Caramel Mocha, cause I KNOW what that is (you have some ice, some caramel and some chocolate…).  So I order something that looks kinda close….Iced Caramel Macchiato.

While I wait my turn, I look around and see all those tables, and people on their laptops, and think ~ this would be cool. I could come here and work and BE COOL.   They all look chic and happy and like they know what they’re doing.

I get my Iced Caramel whatever and hit the door.  I quickly open my bag of Cake Pop Deliciousness and take that 1st mind-blowing bite.  I should savor it and eat it slowly ~ but that ain’t happening.  Then I sip my Caramel Whatever…and discover it’s an expresso drink.  I should mention here that I don’t really Like Coffee….

So THIS morning, I dropped Tater off at school and drove the 3 miles to McD’s, where I got my Egg McMuffin, my Large Sweet Tea and went home.  Where I got out my laptop, and began to work.

I guess I’ll never be cool enough for Starbucks, but I’d much rather work in my pajama pants (yep, went thru McD’s drive thru with PJ pants on) at my kitchen table…..and from now on, I’ll  just hit the drive thru next time I’m in “Town” and get one of those Cake Pop thingys…or maybe two.

Always fabulous, right?  LOL!

Always fabulous, right? LOL!

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

 

 

The Leprechaun does WHAT?

Time and Date:  5:00 pm on March 17, 2014

Location:  McGuires Irish Pub and restaurant

Scene:  Tater, Sasha and Pam sitting at booth, waiting on one person to begin meeting.  Tater is already eating her Happy Meal.  There are St. Patrick’s Day Decorations EVERYWHERE, the wait staff is dressed to the Greens and every table has Shamrock Necklaces.

Tater:  (Big-Eyed at all the HAPPENINGS) Can I put this necklace on?

Sasha:  Sure, baby.

Tater:  (Tearing open package) Heeeeyyyyy, remember it’s St. Patrick’s Day, right?

Sasha:  Yep, it sure is.

Tater:  Heeeeyyyy, When does the Leprechaun come to the house?

Sasha:  Do wha?

Tater:  You know, the Leprechaun.  It comes to the house and leaves me stuff.

Sasha:  No baby, I don’t think so.

Tater:  Uh huh!  It did last year.  Member, it put stuff in MacDaddy’s big green Leprechaun hat and it was on the table and there was candy and stuff inside. So, does it come tonight?  When does it come, Sasha?

Sasha:  dammit…I Mean, I’m not sure.  We’ll have to ask somebody.

Tater:  I think it’s tonight.  It IS St. Patrick’s Day.  You said so and so did my teacher.

Sasha:  I’m not sure….

Tater:  Uh huh…I know it’s tonight.

And THAT’s why MacDaddy’s Leprechaun Hat is filled with a box of M&M’s, some Easter Sixlets, four glitter bracelets from a stashed birthday bag and a My Little Pony knockoff from Dollar General, because I had to stop and get some ‘tape’……

Didn’t see THAT one coming…..

IMG_2798

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

You can’t MAKE me!

Just in case ya’ll think it’s all Sunshine, Rainbows, Unicorns and Barbies in our world, I wanted to share the conversation with me and Tater yesterday afternoon on the way to the store ~

Tater:  Can I play with your phone, Sasha

Me:  No, your color was changed in your planner for not listening, so you can’t play on my phone.

Tater:  Well, I’m not talking to you anymore.07-no-talking

Me:  ok

Tater:  I mean it, I’m not gonna answer you any more, even if you say something.  And I’m not gonna talk to you when we get home either.

Me:  ok

Tater:  I’m not gonna say anything else to you, cause that’s not fair.  And I’m not talking to you when we get to the store either.  I’m not gonna tell you an answer when you ask anything.

Me:  ok

Tater:  Really, Sasha, I’m not gonna talk to you any more today.  You can’t make me.

Me:  ok

Now…at this point, it’s important to know that I wanted to SCREAM “For the LOVE of all the tequila in the world, SHUT UP ALREADY”.  But I didn’t.  I kept it together, and almost chuckling on the last sentence, just kept saying “ok”.

Apparently, that was enough….and here’s how the story ends as we got out of the car at the store:

Me:  Get out of the car, but stay beside it, and I’ll come around to your side.

I take her hand and we walk into the store.

Tater:  I’m sorry.

Me: What are you sorry for?

Tater: ……not talking….

Head slap times 12……

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

Teriyaki Chicken and a side of Life

I had a lunch meeting today and since I got to choose, I chose Japanese…because I’ll ALWAYS choose Japanese.  Or Mexican.  But one of those is what I ALWAYS choose.  Unless it’s my favorite pub and those Irish Spring Rolls ~ Oh MAh GAWD ~ those Irish Spring Rolls are to die for.  Yep, I’ll ALWAYS choose Japanese, Mexican or J. Mac’s.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, Japanese for lunch.

Now, I do love some Teriyaki Chicken and Fried Rice and LOTS of Shrimp Sauce, but I really love those fortune cookies….like they are gonna turn out to be the truth and nothing but the truth.  Like any good horoscope reading chic, I never toss them ~ they are read, studied and analyzed.

And today’s was pretty cool….so I just snapped a pic and tossed it all willy-nilly.  I had a moment of panic as I got in the car because I didn’t have it to add to my stash, but I’m looking ahead and trying not to be a hoarder that Tater has to help clean up after when I die.  (Just think…she’ll find 1,732 fortunes and think…’Damn, Sasha, you couldn’t throw away a fortune???’).

So here’s the total epicness of today’s fortune…behold:

IMG_2770

So yeah…that.  I think I’ll have that tattooed somewhere, cause THAT’s absoflippinlutely fabulous!!

(OF COURSE I was kidding about having it tattooed….unless they put a flower and heart somewhere in there, then that’d be pretty cool!)

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

Did I seriously Just FAIL a test from a Magazine???

Good Housekeeping was kind enough to send me a list of 10 things I should have in my house if I’m over 30.  Since I’m 50, I felt SURE I would ace this test….it IS a test, right?

So, let’s see what they have…

1.  An Organized Bookshelf ~ I have a bookshelf.  There’s 86 National Geographic Magazines from the 1990′s on there, along with a really nice My Little Pony castle and ponies.  And ALL the stuff that My Little Pony Castles have….do you have any idea how LITTLE the crowns, cups, swings and brush is from My LITTLE PONY??

2.  Art You Love ~ I framed a picture Tater drew on a paper bag at a Bar-B-Que restaurant last summer and gave it to Mac for Christmas.  ‘Nuff said.

IMG_2683

3.  Matching Towels ~ My towels match….not each other, but I’m sure they match towels SOMEONE has.  Unless no one has towels that have strings on the edges, a small bare patch in the middle of nearly every one, and varying degrees of thickness and thinness (is that EVEN a word)….DEAR GAWD, tell me YA’LL have towels like this….anyone?

4.  A Plant ~ Of course I have a plant.  It’s outside.  It’s called a Tree.

5.  A nice mattress and headboard ~ Well, we have a mattress and headboard.  The mattress only sags in the middle a little bit.  I really like sleeping in the middle, so it’s ok.  Unfortunately, Mac likes sleeping in the middle, too.  So, usually I’m clinging to the edge of the bed so I won’t roll down the deep crevice and smack Mac dead in the back.  Ok, we need a new mattress…

6.   A Collection ~ Are they Kidding?  I have so many collections I can’t even find them all.  Do you want to start with the dust collection, the shoe and pocket-book collection, or the Barbie collection…cause I am NOTHING if not multifaceted.  That’s a Fancy Word for ‘doing a lot of crap at the same time’ (a thinly veiled reference to Fancy Nancy….who I really want to look like when I grow up).

7.  Bathroom Accessories that aren’t Plastic ~ I was good right up until that whole “Plastic” part…

8.  A Favorite Candle ~ Ok, I WIN this one…whew!

9.  Two Bedside Tables ~ I have tables…..ok, I have ONE bedside table.  I was Soooo close, but they had to throw that OTHER table in there…

10.  A Luxurious Throw ~ First I wanted to make sure they weren’t talking about a baseball ‘throw’ because that would just be weird.  But I felt pretty good about my baseball throw and was hoping it could be considered ‘luxurious’.  No such luck.   Of course, they provided a beautiful picture…a white throw on a white couch, with white walls and a white fireplace.  Oh sure…that’s EXACTLY what my house looks like.  I’m pretty sure Tater’s snowman throw is luxurious…it’s really fuzzy ~ and THAT’s the same thing, right?

So, looks like I’m really 29…which is EXACTLY what I’ve been saying for years!

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

Sure, Pull My Financials ~ I can’t WAIT to see what you find!

I watch a lot of crime shows ~ actually an alphabet of crime shows….NCIS, NCIS-LA, SVU, L&O.  Apparently we’ll abbreviate anything to give it a cool moniker.  I’m thinking of changing my name to some cool initials ~ S…something.

Anyway, it seems the cops always pull the victim’s ‘financials’ to see what their last few days were like, or where they had been, to find out more about the victim and why they might have been off’d.  Which made me think about what the cops would find out about me if they pulled my ‘financials’ ~ actually they could get a lot more info by looking in my car floorboard at the McDonald’s cups and and ATM receipts, but what fun is that?

Fitting that I chose Monopoly Money....

Fitting that I chose Monopoly Money….

So here’s a list of my ‘financials’  . . . I can hardly type that without stopping to laugh…Financials. Bwahahahaha.  How about a balance of $128.58 on good days?

2 days ago:

Wal-mart ~ Purchased a dozen eggs, shredded cheese, honey buns, 2 liter diet Pepsi, 2 apples and the biggest can of hair spray available.

Analysis:  Obviously eats poorly, drinks too much soda and has big hair. (1 out of 3 ain’t bad….)

McDonald’s ~ Purchased a Large Iced Caramel Mocha

Analysis:  Too much Caffeine

1 day ago:

Wal-Mart ~ (I detect a pattern) Purchased 3 rolls of tape, 2 markers, deli container of popcorn chicken, GIANT bag of Twizzlers, Hello Kitty Lip Gloss, and a 1 bag of Heart Shaped Peppermint Patties.

Analysis: Obviously preparing to move and is immature

Long Horn Steakhouse ~ Purchased one absolutely AMAZING Jack & Honey Blackberry Lemonade, Texas Tonion, and Sweet Iced Tea.  Tipped well.

Analysis:  Obviously has no friends, has to dine alone, eats too much fried food and drinks to excess

RedBox ~ Purchased 3 movies:  The Family, The Heat, Dark Shadows.

Analysis: Obsessed with crimes and criminal behavior

And we’re Right Back where we started…..Crime Shows. They’d do MUCH better if they looked at my Facebook posts….THAT would tell them everything they need to know :)

So if I happen to get myself off’d anytime soon, ya’ll just tell the police to check my page. I’ll try to keep it up to date so they won’t have to break into my “Financials” and find out I’ve been eating popcorn chicken and Twizzlers along with drinking Diet Pepsi.  Oh ~ and those honey buns and Hello Kitty lip gloss was for Tater…honest.  No, Really.  I like Donuts and L’Oreal MUCH better :)

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Thanks for reading my blog ~ if you want to leave a comment, I promise I’ll read it and respond because I LOVE comments.  And if you really love it, share it with your friends and have a margarita while you’re reading the blog out loud.  At the bar.  With other people near by.  It’s even FUNNIER then!  :) Cheers!

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